Chapter 11, Standing up for yourself

This post isn't as serious as it sounds but I really want people to start realising it is worth it to stand up for what you believe and who you are. Not in a way that is bitchy and nasty, but you still need to some how get across 'this is how I feel, I am letting you know and I want something done about it'. 

I recently found out that, to finish my apprenticeship, I needed to do a whole new exam for my ICT and for my maths. This is because the apprenticeship body, for some crazy bloody reason, doesn't accept GSCE ICT or Math Additional (higher) paper. Now I got top grades for ICT and for the maths I got a D in the normal paper BUT a good grade in the higher paper. Now surely that counts right? Nope they don't accept additional papers even though I did better at the harder paper than the easier one... surely that shows something? Surely that shows the education system that maybe, just maybe, some things aren't hard enough for us any more? The bad grades aren't necessarily about someone not being clever or being lazy, it's actually just pure boredom. If something bores you, not matter how good you are at it, you're not going to put much effort into it. I certainly don't.
ANYWAY so I voiced my opinion to the body, thinking that I was probably one of the few apprentices that bothered trying to get them to listen. And guess what? Today i received an email explaining that it worked. They've decided to accept my Maths Additional paper but not my ICT. Now this is a huge step in my opinion, alright I still have to do one of the exams but having a proper qualification in ICT sounds like a good idea to me.


Getting people to listen to you is a huge problem in this world; when you finally get to have your say and have people take in what you're saying it is such a good feeling. So this whole thing has taught me that standing up for yourself is really important. Although the exam wasn't a huge problem in my life, it certainly wasn't something I felt I needed to do.
And many people will know, if I don't want to do something, I won't. Now this can be a huge problem in some cases, but it is simply about learning what you genuinely do not need to do.
And if you feel you're right about what you want to do and don't need to do, voice it and stick by it. Don't get upset if it goes wrong.
Remember standing up for yourself can come with consequences, but they aren't the problem it's being able to deal with them that is. When I quit college, no one was happy with me and I had to deal with that. I had to deal with the pain of finding a job and being alone quite often, watching everyone live their lives while I sat at home getting fat and lazy. But I stuck at it. I knew that I wasn't meant to be at college, I stood up for how I felt and now because of that I can use a tattoo machine (though be it not well), I've learnt a lot of life lessons and I now have the perfect job, boyfriend, nearly the perfect mind set and I'm closer to the life I want. Closer than I feel I would have been if I had spent several years at college and uni.

SO anyway i will stop babbling now and start thinking of a more fun blog to write for tomorrow c: Maybe some kind of review and then on Friday you might be able to enjoy my favourite moments of this month so far c:

I hope you feel better about standing up for your self, because unless your a murderous twat, what harm does it really do to let people know this is you and they have to deal with it? 

Exactly. None. 

Go be you <3

Chapter 10, 2B or not 2B?

DO YOU GET IT? 2B OR NOT 2B?!

Seriously though, guess what the pencil is.

On another note, I should be writing my second favourite book (out of my top 5 for this year so far) BUT I am of course feeling far too lazy and will do it later on when my brain has awoken. For now you can endure my ramblings about all the things on my rather extensive To Do list.

So first of all there's revise for my theory test, find a new driving instructor, pass theory test, pass practical, buy car, insure car, drive car. Just tones of 'adult' car shit that is really starting to stress me out! It's such a huge process learning to drive, although, once used to the driving part, incredibly fun and I can't wait to have my own car. I'm definitely looking forward to being able to drive my self random places and exploring with my camera.

Second, there's all things business related. Commissions, adding more to my portfolio, rustling up ideas, having too many ideas, getting myself out there and known, do more writing and reading. Again it's so much to handle all at once. 'Take it step by step' is a very valid point, however it's not how my brain works and refuses to even think about working that way (which would make so much more sense).

I then also have all the stuff I need to finish for my apprenticeship, along side several exams for it. If it weren't for how terribly EASY the work books are I wouldn't particularly mind, but I should have finished my apprenticeship months ago (I'm not allowed to finish it before the end date, how shit is that?).

And lastly (for now) is all the stuff i want and need. There always has been and always will be waaaay too much of it. New camera, laptop, clothes, books, own place, car, tattoos, piercings....
Not just material items but things that I really really really want and need to do but never get round to doing or am simply to tired or have no time. WHAT IS LIFE?

I shall leave you on that note as I don't want to bore you with my annoying to do list which is far bigger than what I've have written.
Oh and don't forget to guess whether the pencil is 2B or not 2B

Chapter 9, Top 5 Books

So over the last year I've brought and read an insane amount of books and I am now going to somehow tell you my top five so far, which is almost impossible because nearly every book I have read lately has been ridiculously amazing.

So I think we should start off with one I finished this weekend...and only started reading this weekend. Yes it is that good.

The Eye Of Minds

This book. This fricking book. It has been a long time since I have found something as un-put-downable as my favourite series (The Mortal Instruments).

Summary:
"Michael is a gamer. And like most gamers, he almost spends more time on the VirtNet than in the actual world. The VirtNet offers total mind and body immersion, and it’s addictive. Thanks to technology, anyone with enough money can experience fantasy worlds, risk their life without the chance of death, or just hang around with Virt-friends. And the more hacking skills you have, the more fun. Why bother following the rules when most of them are dumb, anyway?

But some rules were made for a reason. Some technology is too dangerous to fool with. And recent reports claim that one gamer is going beyond what any gamer has done before: he’s holding players hostage inside the VirtNet. The effects are horrific—the hostages have all been declared brain-dead. Yet the gamer’s motives are a mystery.
The government knows that to catch a hacker, you need a hacker.And they’ve been watching Michael. They want him on their team.But the risk is enormous. If he accepts their challenge, Michael will need to go off the VirtNet grid. There are back alleys and corners in the system human eyes have never seen and predators he can’t even fathom—and there’s the possibility that the line between game and reality will be blurred forever."


Although this is a concept we have seen a few times, I personally feel it is still one that isn't easily found nor done well. However James Dashner, has perfected this concept and managed to write a thrilling book with an ending that, lets say, I completely did not expect (although it was one of those endings where you're like I totally should have guessed that...). 
You easily become involved in the characters, even though they aren't described in huge detail, considering most of the time they are in the VirtNet playing as someone other than themselves. I don't read many books by male authors and always forget how much I enjoy male authors writing styles and Dashner's has to be one of the best, you get a nice break from all that frilly romantic crap and instead get to concentrate on an exciting story line that doesn't revolve around doing every thing you can for your loved one blah blah blah.
Ok I'm going off on a tangent now, back to The Eye of Minds. I highly recommend this book to all book worms. I do believe any one could get drawn into this book, however if you like books such as The Mortal Instruments, Delirium, The Hunger Games, The Iron Fey and pretty much anything fantasy or scifi, then you will adore this book. 

I personally can not wait to read the next book, so go give it a go bitches!

So there we go, my first book from my Top 5 Books. Look out for the next 4!

Chapter 8, 10 happy occurrences.

I noticed my last too post titles ended with 'bitch', I had to resist the urge to triple it, that has nothing to do with the point of this blog.

Anyway, so lately I've been doing an insane amount of thinking and rethinking about myself, the people around me and my life. The out come? I'm starting to feel myself again (took your bloody time...shutup).

SO as everyone seems to be posting positive statuses lately, about the good things that happened during their week, I thought I would post a little blog for mine instead c:

My ten happy occurrences so far this month:

1. I reached a milestone on my Facebook page (photography & art) AND have my first 8 commissions to complete, not only that but my first bit of business!
2. As well as reaching my milestone, I'am also slowly progressing in my art and photography (and any other creative things I try to do) and I can feel my confidence starting to climb. I'm starting to learn how to edit the lighting, perfect angles and scenery for images. I'm also learning how to look at things better when drawing, where I'm going wrong and how to make it better. 
3. I learnt that I'm better at drawing men than women, this is a ridiculous realisation for me as I've never properly drawn a man before. I did this drawing of Ragnar from Vikings (below) and my wonderful JackJack (in other words boyfriend) told me how good I am at drawing guys! He's done nothing but be supportive of me and my art lately, it's making me progress so much more. 

4. Talking of Mr. Jack, nothing has ever made me happier than this boy, but lately our relationship reached an all new high. We reacted better towards each other about so many things, alright I was still grumpy but I blame the hormones. We've had some lovely days together (even though I haven't seen him much recently due to a work trip to London and a first aid course), laughs and he keeps making me feel beautiful and talented.

5.  My book buying/hoarding is getting back to the point of needing to creatively stack them around my room again. Why does it make me happy? Because I'm getting closer to the right amount of books to fill my own library which I WILL have when me and Jack move out. I WILL HAVE IT.

6.  My apprenticeship is nearly over, my portfolio is to a high standard so I'm excited to see if I pass! Which seems extremely likely at this time. When I do finish my apprenticeship I get to carry on working where I do currently and go to a four day week so I can start my own business!

7.  I've started spending time with some old friends again and enjoying every moment of it, making people laugh and just messing around like complete twats. Making new friends in the process and also new food (briscakes).

8.  Today I ate the most amazing chocolate and beetroot cake, made by my work colleague and I got the keep A WHOLE HALF of it!

9.  I visited London for the first time ever and it was amazing (I still need to upload the photos...). It was such a culture shock but oh my goodness china town. Nuff said.

10.  I don't even know what to put as my final happy occurrence.. so many things have happened lately that have made me feel so so soo much better. I guess the best thing I can say is I saw lightening for the first time in my life. I've seen the flash and heard the thunder but never the actual forks or webs of the lightening itself. It was so dramatically beautiful and dangerous looking at the same time. I was so in awe and really wanted to get some photos but I was in the car at the time so I couldn't (plenty of people uploaded photos onto Facebook within like 5 minutes anyway.. how the fuck do they do that so quickly anyways?)

        

 

So there we go my top ten happy stuffs so far this month! c: Why not post your happy moments too? Big or small it doesn't matter, if you can think of at least one thing that's made you smile then you can use it to keep yourself smiling and keep the good times coming. 

Ohh fancy wiseman shit 'n' all that.

''Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both and you won't have to hunt for happniess.'' - William E. Gladstone

Chapter 7, Get off that lazy ass bitch.

Good evening...night, it's been a while (I say a while I mean ages) since I bothered with this blog; therefore time to start paying attention again!

That's when you say 'yippy!'

So what's happened lately? Well my hairs back to red, I've nearly completed my apprenticeship and will do so with flying colours, my creativity is working it's way back into my system and I'm off on a trip for work soon which is going to be scary but amazing.

As it's late I won't bother writing too much, however here is a quick lowdown of what I plan to write about once I get back into the flow of things:

• Sex. WHAT?! I hear you say? You'll see.
• My latest works and creations.
• New games I've been playing.
• Lots, and I mean lots, of book AND film reviews.
• Health tips (yes I am going down that route but since working for an organic company I've learnt a lot of interesting things)
• And hopefully some make up tips and OOTD (outfit of the day) type stuff if I get around to it.

So that's all the stuff I can think of right now, hopefully it sounds interesting and more importantly, hopefully I actually get down to doing it all!

My motivation etc really hit an all time low again and it's slowly starting to pick back up with the good news I've been getting back from my NVQ work, driving lessons and the few bits of art/photography I've been managing to do. Which even though might not be of interest to you, is bloody amazing and I hope it continues to pick up! If it doesn't how on earth do I start up my business in September?

Oh yes there's that as well, I'll be starting my own business near the end of this year so watch out for all of that shit. 

And on that note, I'm off to do some motivational stuff (watching Disney films counts right?). Love, peace and here have a listen of this: