...even if they are what people would call 'silly' or 'irrational', facing your fears can be super hard. Well I say that but after facing two of mine this weekend I feel a lot more at ease when it comes to throwing those fears out the window.
So first things first, this weekend I went paint balling. Shooting people with paint? Yeah I'm cool with that. Getting huge bruises and pain from being shot by paint balls? Yeah I'm cool with that too. However going out with my hair looking like crap tied up in a messy bun with no effort at all? No fricking way am I cool with that. I have never had the confidence to go out in public with my hair not all pretty and fixed into place with hair spray. Never. It may seem ridiculous to you but I have an extreme problem with my hair and I was so scared at the start of the day. I felt shakey and nervous. I kept hiding behind Jack (the bf) and just trying to keep my face out of site. Gradually throughout the day I started feeling better and well basically not giving a shit. I have never felt so liberated when it comes to how I look. I wouldn't ever do it when going out out but atleast I am now confident enough to do sports again. All sounds lame yes but I feel much happier knowing I can now enjoy myself again, I have missed doing sporty things.
So, this next one you are going to be extra confused or astonished; and you will probably think I'm very shallow. My gorgeous man has been growing his hair the whole time I've been with him and I have been loving it. It's nice to play with, nuzzle in to and is just pretty in general cause of the beautiful golden colour. (Bec if you're reading this I'm not weird I swear) Now one of my fears was Jack getting his hair cut off. DUN DUN DUN! Seriously, I'm not joking. I have been so worried that he just wouldn't look like..my Jack. Today, Jack got his hair cut. Now for normal people this isn't huge but for me this was tense. Watching all that glorious hair falling to the floor...making his neck visible..and his eyes stand out more...and suddenly it's not as bad. When I finally had the courage (yes I am that sad) to look at him properly I was just like why did I get so silly, it isn't that bad at all?! He looks waaaaaay younger now but other than that I don't understand why I was scared. And after all it's him who's drawn the short straw because now that he has so little hair, how am I meant to brush it and play with it? SUCKER.
Any way so that's that. They may not have seemed rational or important to you, but I have rid myself of two fears. And you can do it too. Big or small all fears can be fought. Although I plan to never fight my fear of flying (hypocrite... FU).
Sorry for another serious post, it'll be the last one I swear...
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